It began sitting in a home, listening. A slowness settling bones down to earth, roots and dirt, worms and mushrooms anchoring attention in time. No big deal, she said—just aliveness sensing itself—pulsing, warm, the sun unable to keep up with the snow. No big deal—slow all the way down, search this body once and for all for its soul. My mouth tasting all it wants. My feet marching up muddy mountains. No big deal narratives of conflict abound but so do those of resolution. You sat down head falling back laughing the black coffee in your mug sloshing out onto you nightgown—Do you see that ghost? Patterned light through closed lids is its own intelligence, No big deal. The foundation is listening—this is how we learned to speak. Mom and Dad pushing air from their lungs, vibrating cords in their throats. Their own sandcastled perspectives given to us through tone, inflection, rhythm. This is how it works. No big deal. We shape each other’s soft, fleshy bodies with our words.
Rebecca Brenner (she/her) is a writer, journalist, and mindfulness meditation teacher. Her work has appeared in TIME, the Los Angeles Times, Tin House, and elsewhere. She serves as president and co-founder of Mindful. Summit County, a nonprofit devoted to mindfulness as a tool for community care, and is active in local LGBTQ+ advocacy and community-building efforts. Paper House is her debut memoir-in-verse—a personal reckoning with the intergenerational impact of addiction, loss, and the enduring bonds that continue.
