How to Be a Good American
A Poem by London Talbot
Tune in to Fox News. Listen to the Joe Rogan Experience. Conceal carry and always have extra ammunition. Read the Bible. Pray before bed. Work late nights. Work overtime. Pay your taxes. Don’t ask where the money goes. Consume. Believe what your teachers tell you. Believe what your pastor tells you. Say America is the greatest. Say it like you mean it this time. Drive a Ford F-150. Get the tires lifted. Get a Costco membership. Their hot dogs are only $1.50. Don’t forget about free samples. Make sure your phone is up to date and location services are on. Look at this funny meme. Consume. Get vaccinated. Get vaccinated twice. Get a booster while you’re at it.
Don’t look up the Tuskegee Experiments. Don’t look up COINTELPRO. Remember America is the greatest. SAY IT! Buy a flag-on-Flag Day. Buy a mattress on President’s Day. Watch more CNN. While you’re at it, stock up on toilet paper. Money is your God. You can’t have enough God. Stop asking about the national debt. Money isn’t real. God isn’t real. Stop asking about Palestine. Stop asking about healthcare. Consume. Stand up during the anthem. Don’t you dare take a knee. Subscribe to New York Times. Trust the police. Trust the judicial system. Don’t research the prison industrial complex. Blame the Republicans for your problems. Buy one get one free at Sears. Get married. Have children. Raise them to be a good American just like you are. Don’t look into the Gulf of Tonkin. Don’t look into the My Lai massacre. Stay home. Watch
Netflix. Consume. Stop asking about the inflation. Stop complaining all the time. You have it so good here. Don’t think about the people who are exploited for you to have your goodies. Just consume. Find a second job. Find a roommate. Pay your rent on time. Don’t ask why it’s more expensive than last year, or the year before that. Don’t listen to climate scientists, but check the weather. Don’t listen to medical experts, but take a pill for your melancholy. You probably should get a divorce. I know a good lawyer if you need one. Buy the kids an iPad and they’ll be fine. Don’t look up the Mayan Genocide. Don’t look up the Phoenix Memo. Football is on tonight and the night after that. Sit back. Order some pizza. Watch the game. Forget about Iraq.
Forget about the USS Liberty. But never forget 9/11. Storm the building. Democrats are the culprit. Immigrants are the issue. It’s not the extreme class divide. It’s not BlackRock, State Street, Vanguard. It’s not corporate lobbying. It’s not war being incentivized at every opportunity. It’s whatever the TV tells you it is. Before you go, one more thing. Grab that flag of yours. That red, white, and blue. Tie it around your eyes, and fucking blindfold yourself. It’s easier that way.
I'm a writer based out of Boise, Idaho, and am currently getting my MFA in fiction from Oregon State University. I previously attended Boise State University and help run a history tour company in Boise. My writing explores consumerism, capitalism, imperialism, history, and overall human psychology.
