The season is changing again. In my part of the world, mid October means that autumn is fully here and summer is over. Leaves have turned yellow, burnt umber and ruby, and the air is drying out. It’s windy, and chilly air is back in the regular forecast. It happens every single year here in Minnesota, yet somehow it still catches me off guard…so often I am not ready for the change, or I’ve been hoping for a change so dramatic that when things do start to shift, I am left feeling disappointed instead of satisfied. The modernization of life has led to fewer physical chores for many people, but there is still plenty of work to do in the fall: School and work schedules pick up speed, the lawn needs to be mowed one last time, the furnace checked, the wood split, the groceries purchased, the house cleaned, the laundry done. Yet alongside the sometimes overwhelming list of to-dos, there is a sense of looming stillness that wants to be acknowledged. It can be hard to give quiet, more subtle, energy attention when it feels like there is so much left undone. I feel it. You probably feel it. Our colleagues, neighbors, and those we pass on the street feel it. Dominant culture says we need to be moving forward at all times, and that often leaves us stuck in overwhelm and urgency.
So, while we work and plan and race toward the end of the calendar year, checking things off the list (and often feeling pressure to be adding more), how do we tune in to stillness? How do we prioritize the need to slow down while continually being pummeled with the opposite message?
I could say meditate for 30 minutes every morning, write in your journal for 20 minutes every evening before going to bed, and spend at least an hour outside being physically active most days of the week. In an ideal world where people are always successful at meeting goals and everyone has the time and support they need to practice optimal self-care, doing those things would surely help. However, last time I checked, we don’t live in an ideal world. Many of us have a hard time meditating for five minutes, let alone 30, spend the 20 minutes before bed checking email or doing the dishes and use that hour we might have spent outside moving our bodies trying to accomplish something from the never-ending to-do list or working a second job to pay the bills.
There are no easy answers. If we want to be bleak, we could chalk life up to what we see on the surface and simply work on making it though using the old patterns that no longer serve. Most of us could muddle through and be ok, really. Maybe not truly happy with how things are, but we’d still find those little moments of success now and then and we’d probably figure out how to take time for ourselves on occasion or accept that it just isn’t in the cards. But what if we didn’t let ourselves settle? What if, even while practicing accepting what is in the moment, we committed to five minutes of sitting still and breathing once a week? What if we dusted off that old journal and wrote down three things we are grateful for every night, even if it was after doing the dishes and checking email, and even if we had to dig pretty deep to find something good? What if we did something tiny: too tiny to seem like it would ever make an impact?
Sometimes those tiny things can pierce the resignation that this is all there is. And light has a way of shining through even the smallest pinpricks in the dark cloak of wondering.
Some unsolicited advice: As the seasons progress, keep working on your to do list. It’s probably not going anywhere. Meet your obligations. Say yes when saying yes is the best choice. But take time to rest. Practice saying no, especially if no doesn’t come easy. Go to bed ten minutes early. Walk outside for 90 seconds every Tuesday morning, Notice the details. Give thanks for the sun that filters through the newly bare tree branches and remind yourself that there is life gathering strength under the sense of passing away. Be gentle, practice compassion and let gratitude keep you grounded in the knowledge that change doesn’t have to uproot your entire life. Know that change can be small and still make a difference. When all else seems to fail, look toward where the sun rises in the east and breathe into a new day that is ripe with possibilities. Remember sometimes tiny things are the things that matter most.
Below is a recipe that will allow you to eat well, but also allow room for stillness and simplicity. Because eating well doesn’t have to mean spending hours in the kitchen.
Apple and Cabbage Slaw
Ingredients:
2-3 cups of shredded purple cabbage
3 tart apples, julienned
1 TB lemon juice
¼ cup apple cider vinegar
Pinch of grated ginger
1 TB honey
2 TB Olive oil
¼ cup toasted walnuts (optional)
Directions:
Whisk wet ingredients together (or shake in small lidded jar). Toast walnuts (if using) in a small skillet for 5 minutes. Toss both with apples and cabbage in a large bowl. Add salt and pepper to taste. Take a deep breath in through the nose, hold for a moment, and release the air back out through the mouth. Be where you are. Then, enjoy the tasty outcome of some simple actions.